It's only 3 Days Away!!!

Dating, Narcissism, and other stuff happening on the internets

First of all.  Did everyone watch last week's 30 Rock?  Did you catch that great line by Avery Jessup when she told Jack she didn't need a mentor?

"I'm fine!  I sleep 4 hours a night, eat 1,200 calories a day, and my closet has been on the cover of organized living twice!"

I have a lot of work to do...


Today, one of my best friends, who I will refer to as Fair Lisa (b/c that was her nickname in High School) sent me the following the text message.

Don't take this the wrong way but last night I went on a date with the male version of you and didn't like him!  The whole time I was thinking... I would like him better if he was just Kelsey.


This was so intriguing to me!  My male counterpart... was he good looking? Was he funny?  I kind of want to meet him.

No you're better looking she wrote back But his mannerisms and speech patterns were spot on.  It was so wack.


Then I started wondering, what would it be like for me to go on a date with this guy?  I guess it would essentially be dating myself.  But would I like myself?  Would I discover I do things I think are charming that are actually totally obnoxious?  Would we have non-stop witty banter and intelligent debate?  Or would we sit in aloof silence asking polite small-talk-type questions.

Finally, I decided my wanting to go on a date with someone who was described as "the male version of you" is just about the most narcissistic thing I've thought lately, and got back to work.

Speaking of dating.  It can be hard right?  I think there was a Seinfeld episode where he was whining about first dates because when you go out and you're at a restaurant, everyone else there knows you're on a date!  And then you get past the first couple dates, and it's not so awkward but it doesn't necessarily get easier.  There's the meeting of each other's friends, and the re-working of your weekend plans to fit another person into the schedule, and figuring out how you greet one another (do you kiss hello?) and if you're the type of couple who holds hands or links arms or doesn't touch when they walk down the street.  Then eventually there's compromise and sacrifice, and discussion of life goals and core values, and where are we spending holidays?...ok, no, I've never made it that far, but that's what I've heard happens.

So relationships are complicated, yea?  And they're totally worth it, but sometimes you need a second opinion...or six.  Love of Friends (my passion project remember?) has started a new project in which we're allowing you, or the general public, to write, type, or tweet your relationship queries to us, and we will answer them for you on our website www.loveoffriends.com

What are our qualifications for this you ask?  Well, officially none.  Other than the six of us having been on a lot of dates, and involved in a lot of relationships of varying levels.  You might get some conflicting advice, since between all of us there's bound to be some differing viewpoints, but our hearts are in the right place.  Also, 50% of the team is in a relationship and 50% is single, and so you're getting a nice balanced view of your question.  At the very least, we'll give better advice than Cosmo.  (Cosmo, if you're at all interested in hiring us to write an advice column we can totally talk).

So send us your questions about love, dating, friendship (relationship advice is not limited to romantic relationships) or just send us the story of the worst date you've ever been on, or the best, or the strangest, and we can compare.

The strangest date I've ever had?  The Artist and I once went on a date with the same guy... at the same time.  It's a long(ish) story, which I won't get into here, but would be happy to share in more detail next time you see me at a party.

Speaking of the Artist.  She's blogging!  And it's awesome of course.  Check it out, subscribe, comment, add it to your Google Reader, be totally jealous of the fact that I have a bunch of her original pieces in my house.

In Which I Introduce My Passion Project

Passion project is a term I came upon somewhat recently in the blogosphere, and I like it a lot.  A passion project is not your job.  You may never make money from it, or, such is the case with my passion project, the money you make is then donated.  A passion project is not a hobby, because it's more than that.

Running is my hobby.  Sewing is a hobby.  Blogging (except for when I blog for work I suppose) is a really fun hobby.  Volunteering even is a hobby for me at this point, but there is one project I'm involved with that has taken on a whole new level of commitment, which is why I think the term "passion project" suits it perfectly.  It is Love of Friends.

I was first involved with Love of Friends (LoF), 3 years ago.  Regina mentioned that she needed volunteers, and I, desperately looking for something to do on Valentine's Day which fell on a Saturday that year, eagerly signed up.

That year was the 3rd year LoF was held, and while it had originated as a potluck in Regina's house, 2009 saw more than 300 people cram into the WYEP studios in the southside to celebrate art, music, friends, and of course, dance!

The party was so much fun.  It was the best Valentines Day I had ever had.  I even met a cute guy there, who I went on a couple of dates with (Volunteering is sexy y'all!) I told Regina that the next year, I wanted to help with more than just the day-of set up.

So for LoF 4, I found myself on the planning committee.  I roped in the Artist, who designed our logo, graphics, and decorations.  The team met regularly over wine and triscuits.  We sewed more than 150 tote bags out of recycled t-shirts.  We got kicked out of our location 3 days before the event, found a new venue (Thanks Union Project!), and threw an awesome party.

This year, as we are preparing for LoF5 (5 years you guys!) I am living Love of Friends.  Besides the meetings, and work that is typical when planning an event, we are doing more crafting/preparing/writing/thinking/scheming than ever before.  The core team has expanded to include another friend who brings both talent and testosterone to our group.  We have a great website with information on the event, and how to stay involved with us throughout the year.

So yea, Love of Friends is a party that happens on Valentine's Day, but more than that it is a celebration. And we have things to celebrate all year long.

Stay tuned, it may be October, but you'll be hearing from the LoF team well before (and after) Valentine's Day.

Love of Friends Or: How I learned to stop worrying and start loving Valentines Day

I am always single on Valentines Day. Ok, I’ve been single pretty much my whole life, but I do date, and I’ve never even been seeing someone over the Hallmark holiday. I can’t say that I’m particularly embittered towards Valentines Day. After all, any holiday that results in discounted chocolate is fine with me, but I have had better days in February.

There was the year in college where every single one of my 5 roommates was in a relationship. On the 14th, they all did cute date things. I studied for Econ. The next year, I worked. Then last year, everything changed.

See, Valentines Day isn’t just a problem holiday for those of us who are single, it’s just as bad for couples. All of a sudden there’s the question of are we the type of couple who does something romantic, or are we the type who don’t make a big deal out if it, because “we don’t need a specified day to show that we care about each other!” And then there’s the terrible conundrum of what to do if you’ve just started seeing someone? It’s too early to be overly romantic, do you even acknowledge it with a gesture? Or do you ignore the holiday completely?

The minute we get out of Elementary School, Valentines Day is a minefield thrown into one of the most depressing months of the year. February is cold and dark, and you are so over winter, and chances are most of us single girls have given up on shaving our legs altogether at this point, so who in their right mind wants to feel romantic?!

My amazing friend and coworker, Regina Anderson recognized this problem. She saw her friends, single and committed, all stressed out over Valentines Day. So, she threw a party. What started as a potluck at her house, has grown into an annual event. Last year, over 300 people crowded into the WYEP studio in the Southside, to eat, drink, view and purchase art, and listen to local bands and dj’s. It was the best Valentines Day I have ever had.

This year, I got in on the planning committee, and have been working on this event with the rest of the LoF team since June. Love of Friends 4 is going to be even bigger and better than last year. The most amazing thing about this event, is that it’s all volunteer based, and supported by our circles of friends. The artists showing their work, the bands playing, the people in charge of food, the handmade tote bags we’re making out of old t-shirts as the goody bags this year. All of this is possible because of our incredible and talented friends. This is a homemade event, and there is a lot of love put into it. I have never had more fun in the planning process of an event this size before.

Here are the details:

Sunday, February 14, 2010 at the Hunt Armory in Shadyside.

8pm – Midnight.

$14 for admission, $25 if you want one of the aforementioned tote-goody bags.

Did I mention that the proceeds benefit the Midwife Center, and Planned Parenthood of Western PA’s Action Fund? Two awesome organizations here in Pittsburgh.

Your admission gets you drinks (open bar, no drink tickets), food, amazing Pittsburgh bands Meeting of Important People, and Nick Westman and the Central Plains will be performing. Later, DJ Gordy Greenawalt (Title Town / Vipers Soul Club) will be on stage. Artists from all over town will be showing their work, and it will be for sale if you see something you like. We’re going to have make your own valentines stations, and screen printing stations for those of you who want to get crafty. This year, we’re also having a cookie table! (one of my fav. Pittsburgh traditions.) If you show up with 2 doz. cookies, you get $2 off of your admission.

Dress to impress, this is a party! But it’s also Pittsburgh so you know you’ll be seeing everything from cocktail dresses to flipflops and at least one Steelers Jersey. Regardless of your current relationship status or views on Valentines Day, I promise it will be a great time. Come with your friends, your significant other, someone you'd like to be your significant other, come meet your significant other! Flirt, don't flirt, just have fun. Also, the next day is Presidents Day, so most of us don’t even have to wake up for work!

Follow us on twitter @LoveFriendsPgh, or on facebook, for up to date party information as we get closer to the big day.

February 14. You, me and 400 of our closest friends. I’ll see you on the dance floor.