is so sweet.
And I'd like to take just a second to acknowledge that. Because it is so easy to get wrapped up in nonsense that isn't real problems. And because I usually take the viewpoint of wanting to live like a shark - constantly moving or else I'll die.
And sure, I don't have a lot of money. I don't have a car. My hair needs a trim, my bed isn't made, I could/should probably weigh 5 lbs less, I'm single, and I spend a good deal of time worrying that I'm frivolously wasting my defining decade and that I'll wake up in my early 30's horrified at the life I've built for myself.
But today after I wrapped up a day of work at a job I love, I went for a run, and then I walked home and read a magazine on my front porch while it poured rain, and drank a glass of wine. And I was happy.
My real life.
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Twenty-Six
I will land on my feet this time,
knowing at least two languages and who
my friends are. I will dress for the
occasion, and my hair shall be
whatever color I please.
- From Crossroads by Joyce Sutphen
.
On the beach at Malibu with Lisa. One of the awesome parts of my birthday trip to LA.
25 was kind of a crazy year. Real fun, but a little crazy. Here's hoping that 26 is just as fun, and maybe just a little more stable.
Thanks to everyone who celebrated with me over this past week. Y'all are what makes life so sweet.
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Consuming - What I've learned about buying from a year of being broke.
"Pittsburgh Millionaires" was the term my friends and I used for ourselves when we graduated from college and had our first salaried jobs. I was not making ridiculous amounts of money by any stretch, but I was paid decently and coming from supporting myself as a student on 3 part time jobs in an affordable city. It's amazing how quickly you acclimate to making more than twice as much money as you did the year before.
I knew I had a cell phone bill, but didn't know (or care) how much it was because I could pay for it. I went out to eat 5 nights out of the week, because why not, I worked a lot and cooking is hard, and then I'd throw out food that went bad because I didn't eat it. I bought furniture and clothes to fill up the expanded living space I moved into. I did some fiscally responsible things like saving for retirement, paying off my credit card every month, and not purchasing a car, but looking back now, I want to know what did I do with all that money?
Some of it was really well spent. Plane tickets to Israel, and Italy and Haiti. Running shoes and marathon entries. Tickets for me and my sister to go the opera, some fantastic meals with good friends, and bottles of wine that got shared over conversations I cherish.
A lot of it was wasted on lattes I barely tasted but drank out of habit, cheap shoes from Payless or Target that I wore 3 times and hurt my feet so much I never wore them again or that fell apart within a few months, take out food that other people cooked for me even though I was perfectly capable of preparing food I had already purchased myself, late night ice cream runs, and cheap clothes I bought just because they were on sale.
Then I quit my job to start a business, and re-entered the world of supporting myself through part-time work.
Suddenly, I knew down to the penny how much that cell phone bill cost. Groceries were bought and planned and used completely. I can count on one hand the number of new clothing items I've purchased this year. Lattes became an extravagant treat. I knew exactly where the little money I had was going, and while there were things I missed, I was surprised by how much of what I cut out I didn't miss at all.
Being broke sucks. Feeling stressed about money, and adjusting your social life because you can't afford to go out with people, or do things you love to do is not fun. Luckily, things at Thread are going well, and we've even started to compensate ourselves a little. We're not at full salaries yet, and I'm not giving up the part time jobs, but I can have some disposable income again, which is so liberating. This time I am determined to make sure I'm aware of how I spend it.
The more I learn about supply chains and companies and their products, the more I become aware of just what I support when I purchase stuff. High quality, whether it's things, food, or experiences cost more. Unfortunately, we've become such a consumption based culture that we feel as though we have the right to cheap, fast, vast quantities of products all the time. We don't. Not without huge expense to our environment and/or other people.
I look at the vintage clothing my grandmothers have given me and I think, I don't have anything of my own that will likely last long enough for me to give to granddaughters some day. The more I learn about food policy and the industrial practices and medications and ingredients we ingest, the more I believe in the importance of knowing what you're eating, and where it comes from. The more I dig into supply chains of the products I buy for so little money, the more I realize I am directly supporting practices I don't believe in or want to support at all. The more I learn about landfills and the amount of money and resources being buried underground as we throw things away is terrifying. The more I've been forced to give up, the more I am aware of what I really want and miss being able to buy, as opposed to consuming out of convenience or habit.
So, moving forward I am trying to change. To focus on quality and not quantity. To focus on experience over stuff. I will budget for and pay what I have previously considered an outrageous amount of money for a pair of shoes or a beautiful piece of clothing, because it will be something that I love, and that is designed and made well, and that will not fall apart after one season, and doesn't endanger people's lives in it's production. I will pay 3 times more for the grass-fed beef, because it's worth it and because I do not need to eat meat everyday. I will not buy stuff just because it's on sale or impulsively because I can. I will put that money towards a plane ticket to see people I love, or to run a new marathon, or something else awesome that years from now I will appreciate having been part of my life experience.
Consumers hold a huge amount of power. Your purchases, donations, and the way you spend your money can influence products and policy. Make sure what you're spending it on is worth it.
I knew I had a cell phone bill, but didn't know (or care) how much it was because I could pay for it. I went out to eat 5 nights out of the week, because why not, I worked a lot and cooking is hard, and then I'd throw out food that went bad because I didn't eat it. I bought furniture and clothes to fill up the expanded living space I moved into. I did some fiscally responsible things like saving for retirement, paying off my credit card every month, and not purchasing a car, but looking back now, I want to know what did I do with all that money?
Some of it was really well spent. Plane tickets to Israel, and Italy and Haiti. Running shoes and marathon entries. Tickets for me and my sister to go the opera, some fantastic meals with good friends, and bottles of wine that got shared over conversations I cherish.
A lot of it was wasted on lattes I barely tasted but drank out of habit, cheap shoes from Payless or Target that I wore 3 times and hurt my feet so much I never wore them again or that fell apart within a few months, take out food that other people cooked for me even though I was perfectly capable of preparing food I had already purchased myself, late night ice cream runs, and cheap clothes I bought just because they were on sale.
Then I quit my job to start a business, and re-entered the world of supporting myself through part-time work.
Suddenly, I knew down to the penny how much that cell phone bill cost. Groceries were bought and planned and used completely. I can count on one hand the number of new clothing items I've purchased this year. Lattes became an extravagant treat. I knew exactly where the little money I had was going, and while there were things I missed, I was surprised by how much of what I cut out I didn't miss at all.
Being broke sucks. Feeling stressed about money, and adjusting your social life because you can't afford to go out with people, or do things you love to do is not fun. Luckily, things at Thread are going well, and we've even started to compensate ourselves a little. We're not at full salaries yet, and I'm not giving up the part time jobs, but I can have some disposable income again, which is so liberating. This time I am determined to make sure I'm aware of how I spend it.
The more I learn about supply chains and companies and their products, the more I become aware of just what I support when I purchase stuff. High quality, whether it's things, food, or experiences cost more. Unfortunately, we've become such a consumption based culture that we feel as though we have the right to cheap, fast, vast quantities of products all the time. We don't. Not without huge expense to our environment and/or other people.
I look at the vintage clothing my grandmothers have given me and I think, I don't have anything of my own that will likely last long enough for me to give to granddaughters some day. The more I learn about food policy and the industrial practices and medications and ingredients we ingest, the more I believe in the importance of knowing what you're eating, and where it comes from. The more I dig into supply chains of the products I buy for so little money, the more I realize I am directly supporting practices I don't believe in or want to support at all. The more I learn about landfills and the amount of money and resources being buried underground as we throw things away is terrifying. The more I've been forced to give up, the more I am aware of what I really want and miss being able to buy, as opposed to consuming out of convenience or habit.
So, moving forward I am trying to change. To focus on quality and not quantity. To focus on experience over stuff. I will budget for and pay what I have previously considered an outrageous amount of money for a pair of shoes or a beautiful piece of clothing, because it will be something that I love, and that is designed and made well, and that will not fall apart after one season, and doesn't endanger people's lives in it's production. I will pay 3 times more for the grass-fed beef, because it's worth it and because I do not need to eat meat everyday. I will not buy stuff just because it's on sale or impulsively because I can. I will put that money towards a plane ticket to see people I love, or to run a new marathon, or something else awesome that years from now I will appreciate having been part of my life experience.
Consumers hold a huge amount of power. Your purchases, donations, and the way you spend your money can influence products and policy. Make sure what you're spending it on is worth it.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Sleep Over
"Will you come to our sleep-over?" She asked me excitedly.
"Yes!" I replied without hesitation.
The sleep-over was organized by Megan, one of the owners of the restaurant I work at. Her husband was out of town on business for the week, and she invited the Franktuary ladies over for a good old-fashioned girls-only slumber party.
"Why are you having it on a Wednesday?" one of the cooks asked us, "that's the middle of the week."
"Because," I responded, "We are grown-ups. And when you're a grown-up, if you want to have a slumber party on a Wednesday, you can."
This is why adult-hood is awesome.
We planned on make-overs, truth or dare, manicures, and hair crimping, you know, typical slumber-party stuff. We ended up drinking wine, and eating junk food, and talking until late at night when we all got sleepy and went to bed. So, it was pretty tame by slumber party standards.
It's such a childish event, but it was really fun.
It's easy to experience isolation and loneliness in adulthood, especially before you start a family of your own. And even though we all have our own apartments, with our own comfortable beds, there was something comforting about showing up with a sleeping bag and pjs knowing you wouldn't be going home until the morning.
And just like when we were kids, we lay in the dark waiting to fall asleep, giggling. Even though we're grown women.
Am I tired today? Yea.
But, as Megan wrote in the email inviting us all over - Tiredness is just the price you pay for fun times sometimes.
"Yes!" I replied without hesitation.
The sleep-over was organized by Megan, one of the owners of the restaurant I work at. Her husband was out of town on business for the week, and she invited the Franktuary ladies over for a good old-fashioned girls-only slumber party.
"Why are you having it on a Wednesday?" one of the cooks asked us, "that's the middle of the week."
"Because," I responded, "We are grown-ups. And when you're a grown-up, if you want to have a slumber party on a Wednesday, you can."
This is why adult-hood is awesome.
We planned on make-overs, truth or dare, manicures, and hair crimping, you know, typical slumber-party stuff. We ended up drinking wine, and eating junk food, and talking until late at night when we all got sleepy and went to bed. So, it was pretty tame by slumber party standards.
It's such a childish event, but it was really fun.
It's easy to experience isolation and loneliness in adulthood, especially before you start a family of your own. And even though we all have our own apartments, with our own comfortable beds, there was something comforting about showing up with a sleeping bag and pjs knowing you wouldn't be going home until the morning.
And just like when we were kids, we lay in the dark waiting to fall asleep, giggling. Even though we're grown women.
Am I tired today? Yea.
But, as Megan wrote in the email inviting us all over - Tiredness is just the price you pay for fun times sometimes.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
A Personal Life
"So when are you at your other job? During the day?" asked a co-worker of mine at the restaurant.
"During the day, sometimes at night, sometimes on the weekends," I replied. Which is true. No one starts a business to cut back on the hours they work each week. Luckily, at Thread we have incredible flexibility as to when we work, so I feel like it all balances out.
"Do you have a personal life?" he asked.
You mean, do I have time to date anyone? I thought in my head, but didn't say out loud, instead offering an off-handed comment about personal lives being over-rated.
And maybe that's not what he was implying by "personal life," maybe he was just curious if I did anything other than work, but either way, this idea around a "personal life" and it being something removed and separated from what I do on a daily basis irks me.
I work a lot because I love it. And this job, this work, has allowed me expand and change my perspective of the world. It's made me aware of issues and problems I didn't know existed. It's expanded my social circles and introduced me to interesting new people. It's made me complete tasks, and solve problems, and develop skills I didn't think I was capable of having or doing. It's made me afraid and vulnerable and has drawn me closer to people than I thought was possible. It's allowed me to make connections around the world, to seek out new knowledge, and to ask for help almost constantly. It's made me grow, as a professional for sure, but also as a person. I am a better person for having taken this job. If that's not personal than what is?
I think that starting a venture has to be one of the most personal things you can do in life.
So while entrepreneurs might be the only people in the world who willingly quit a 40 hour week to take on an 80+ hour work week, I don't think it's at all at the expense of having a "personal life."
Sometimes, we even find time to date.
"During the day, sometimes at night, sometimes on the weekends," I replied. Which is true. No one starts a business to cut back on the hours they work each week. Luckily, at Thread we have incredible flexibility as to when we work, so I feel like it all balances out.
"Do you have a personal life?" he asked.
You mean, do I have time to date anyone? I thought in my head, but didn't say out loud, instead offering an off-handed comment about personal lives being over-rated.
And maybe that's not what he was implying by "personal life," maybe he was just curious if I did anything other than work, but either way, this idea around a "personal life" and it being something removed and separated from what I do on a daily basis irks me.
I work a lot because I love it. And this job, this work, has allowed me expand and change my perspective of the world. It's made me aware of issues and problems I didn't know existed. It's expanded my social circles and introduced me to interesting new people. It's made me complete tasks, and solve problems, and develop skills I didn't think I was capable of having or doing. It's made me afraid and vulnerable and has drawn me closer to people than I thought was possible. It's allowed me to make connections around the world, to seek out new knowledge, and to ask for help almost constantly. It's made me grow, as a professional for sure, but also as a person. I am a better person for having taken this job. If that's not personal than what is?
I think that starting a venture has to be one of the most personal things you can do in life.
So while entrepreneurs might be the only people in the world who willingly quit a 40 hour week to take on an 80+ hour work week, I don't think it's at all at the expense of having a "personal life."
Sometimes, we even find time to date.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Cut
The Sartorialist, in a post last week wrote, "I've said it before and I'll say it again, a great unique hairstyle/cut is one of the best things a cash-strapped young lady or gentlemen can invest in."
And I thought, "I am a cash-strapped young lady! And I am sick of long hair, and it is time for a change."
So yesterday, I changed it up.
It's the shortest hair I've ever had, and I love it. Even in a photo taken with my laptop camera.
Thank you Beth, for working your magic once again.
And I thought, "I am a cash-strapped young lady! And I am sick of long hair, and it is time for a change."
So yesterday, I changed it up.
It's the shortest hair I've ever had, and I love it. Even in a photo taken with my laptop camera.
Thank you Beth, for working your magic once again.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
New Year, New Place, New Goals
I moved this past weekend, which was possibly the least painful move I've ever done. Still, there's nothing like navigating icy steps, arms full of a bow and arrow, wine glasses, and a hula hoop to make you take stock of your life.
Anyways, I'm still getting settled, but feel good about this new apartment - with more closet space than I know what to do with (that's a lie, I finally have room for all my clothes), good lighting, and a big front porch with a swing.
It's nice starting off the new year, with a new place to live. And even though I did goal setting back at the end of December, I've clarified a bit more what I want out of this year, and thus will spend the next 11 months focusing on the following:
1. Working really hard. I love to work. I have for years. It makes me feel productive, it gives me a structure to my schedule, it allows me to be my best self. I also now, have the fortune of having a job I love, one that scares me so much I feel nauseous sometimes, so I know I'm doing something right. I also know if there's one thing I learned in the past year, it's that it's always less scary on the other side. Also, this job I love so dearly is helping to start a business in a developing country... so, there's lots to do. I am not worried about work-life balance (which I think is a myth anyways) right now. Right now, I want to work my butt off.
2. Running in cool places. After completing 3 marathons in the city of brotherly love, I have decided to expand my racing horizons. I am not a very fast runner, so a race is a great way to see a city. It's also a great reason to go somewhere I've never been yet. That being said, I've registered for the Montreal Marathon in September, and am trying to talk all the runners I know into coming with me. So far, I've got 1 other commitment, but it's early yet. Chris and I are also looking at a wine country half marathon in May, and I'll be on the lookout for some fun races throughout the summer.
3. Making new friends and meaningful connections. Ok, this one is kind of always a focus, because really, what else matters more than human connection? But for the past couple of weeks, I have been saying yes to last minute brunches, clothing swaps, 6 am yoga classes, late night best-friend real-talks, gallery crawls, and hanging out for a beer after work with new friends. And it's so much better than staying home watching Netflix. Spending time alone is good. Giving yourself time for reflection, and relaxation is important. Spending time in situations where you're meeting new people, and making those new connections is really important too.
4. Looking cute while doing it. One of the few things I have control over in my life right now is my physical appearance. And, now that I have all this closet space, I should have no trouble seeing all of my clothes. I really like clothing, and fashion, and have every intention of reflecting that on a daily basis. You don't have to wait for some special occasion to look awesome. Look great on a Wednesday.
So there you have it. 2012 was all about ripping my life apart and 2013 is all about settling back into it. Work, running, relationships, fashion. This is what's important.
Anyways, I'm still getting settled, but feel good about this new apartment - with more closet space than I know what to do with (that's a lie, I finally have room for all my clothes), good lighting, and a big front porch with a swing.
It's nice starting off the new year, with a new place to live. And even though I did goal setting back at the end of December, I've clarified a bit more what I want out of this year, and thus will spend the next 11 months focusing on the following:
1. Working really hard. I love to work. I have for years. It makes me feel productive, it gives me a structure to my schedule, it allows me to be my best self. I also now, have the fortune of having a job I love, one that scares me so much I feel nauseous sometimes, so I know I'm doing something right. I also know if there's one thing I learned in the past year, it's that it's always less scary on the other side. Also, this job I love so dearly is helping to start a business in a developing country... so, there's lots to do. I am not worried about work-life balance (which I think is a myth anyways) right now. Right now, I want to work my butt off.
2. Running in cool places. After completing 3 marathons in the city of brotherly love, I have decided to expand my racing horizons. I am not a very fast runner, so a race is a great way to see a city. It's also a great reason to go somewhere I've never been yet. That being said, I've registered for the Montreal Marathon in September, and am trying to talk all the runners I know into coming with me. So far, I've got 1 other commitment, but it's early yet. Chris and I are also looking at a wine country half marathon in May, and I'll be on the lookout for some fun races throughout the summer.
3. Making new friends and meaningful connections. Ok, this one is kind of always a focus, because really, what else matters more than human connection? But for the past couple of weeks, I have been saying yes to last minute brunches, clothing swaps, 6 am yoga classes, late night best-friend real-talks, gallery crawls, and hanging out for a beer after work with new friends. And it's so much better than staying home watching Netflix. Spending time alone is good. Giving yourself time for reflection, and relaxation is important. Spending time in situations where you're meeting new people, and making those new connections is really important too.
4. Looking cute while doing it. One of the few things I have control over in my life right now is my physical appearance. And, now that I have all this closet space, I should have no trouble seeing all of my clothes. I really like clothing, and fashion, and have every intention of reflecting that on a daily basis. You don't have to wait for some special occasion to look awesome. Look great on a Wednesday.
So there you have it. 2012 was all about ripping my life apart and 2013 is all about settling back into it. Work, running, relationships, fashion. This is what's important.
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