Tuesday, September 28, 2010

The Never Ending Question

Each morning I wake up, and within minutes of regaining consciousness am faced with the same question. Every single day. What? Am I going to wear today?

Sometimes the question is already answered for me. There was a year in high school where I would take time every Sunday to plan out my outfits for the approaching school week. I'd figure out everything down to the accessories, and then write it all out on a list, so that when I woke up at 5 freakin o'clock in the morning, I wouldn't have to think.  I just did what the paper told me to.

Flash forward to now, when I can't imagine having that kind of time on a Sunday, and usually don't have to be up before 7. Needless to say, my week's wardrobe is no longer quite so organized.

Because we're dramatic, and because this question is often faced before or with little coffee, Precisely and I can be found most mornings lying on the floor of our shared closet, asking the age old quandary of "What on earth am I going to wear today?"

My job is flexible enough that I don't have strict "work-clothes" (although I think most of my clothing is business casual). I've been fortunate enough to have collected quite a few nice pieces over the years, and have outfits that I absolutely adore. I am even more fortunate now, having an entire half of a bedroom as closet space, meaning I have easier access to my clothing than I have had in years. Also, I only have one strict fashion rule, which is to never wear sweatpants in public. Everything else is fair game.

This shouldn't then, be difficult.

Yet some days, it is so absolutely challenging, and having to make that kind of decision at the beginning of the day, seems far more stressful than it actually is. Some days I wish I just didn't care.

But I do care. I love fashion. I love clothes. I love how pairing some clothes with other clothes changes an outfit entirely. I love how fabrics feel, and fall across your body, and how colors can have an effect on your mood all day. I love the process of getting dressed. Of each layer of clothing working together to create an ensemble that you present to the outer world.

So here's my confession. Every morning when I don't feel like thinking about getting dressed, when I resent the "what am I going to wear today" question, I suck it up and put effort into it and answer it anyways. Why? Maybe this is morbid, or crazy, but I find myself thinking - If today, for some reason, you were to die. Be it a brain aneurism, or a freak accident, and you, you who love fashion, and put such effort into your clothes, were wearing an outfit you didn't care about, wouldn't that be a terrible thing?

It would be.  I couldn't stand for my last ever outfit to be one I didn't care about. So I take another sip of coffee, face my closet, and put together another outfit for another day.

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