"Remember, only half the salad."
"Lose the bubble hem!"
"Maybe that coffee is all you should eat today…"
"Have a wonderful day, eat a lot of chocolate. I just read that the world’s supply is running out."
"What, did your sister wives pick that outfit for you?" (in my defense I was about to go for a run and yea, the clothes were baggy and ugly, but whatever I was just going to sweat in them!)
"I don’t care how wide your scarf is, you’re still not Swedish."
He keeps me grounded.