First of all, I'll begin with saying that I am fine.
Better than fine even, good, maybe great.
I'm emphasizing this because my Mom called me last week to make sure I was fine, as Moms are want to do, and even though I was fine, I was also in the midst of September sadness, and I'm sure she intuited that because she has a way of knowing everything, even from 400 miles away, which is a trait I hope I inherit when I become a parent, so that I can freak my kids out as much as she does me. (Anyway Mom, if you read this know that I'm good - love you!)
So, let's talk for a minute about September sadness. I'm not sure what it is - whether it's the change in daylight hours, the drop in temperature, the change in schedules that came with going back to school, but I get sad in September. This has been happening since high school. It's only in the past couple of years that I've really been able to recognize the pattern (better late than never). It doesn't last too long, just a couple of weeks in the middle of the month, and it's not in any way debilitating, just makes me more apt to think my way into downward-hate-spirals, and cry more often for no good reason. I also know that I am not alone in this, and have been reading about other people coping with September, and its comforting to know that there is company in your craziness.
It's already lifting, and now that the equinox has happened I am ready to embrace fall with all the pumpkin spiced lattes and beer and baked goods and boots and capes and glorious long runs, and extra blankets on my bed. October is here next week.
I was having coffee with a friend last week, and mentioned this, and we started talking about feelings, and downward-hate-spirals, and the crazy thought processes that takes you from a well-adjusted logical person, to one who is convinced you've messed up your entire life in under 60 seconds.
"The thing I dislike about sadness," I said, "Is that I can't channel it into anything productive."
She smiled and said, "Unless you consider a well-balanced life, and allowing yourself time to process and be reflective productive. Those aren't bad things. Careful, your high D is showing."
(If you are familiar with the DiSC personality profile, then you know that she was right. I am, it was.)
And so she made an excellent point. And maybe it's time that I stop viewing September as the month when I get sad, and embrace it for the month that I get introspective and reflective, and process. Because having that time is part of a well-balanced life.