In Defense of Sharing the Good Stuff

Last fall I ran into a friend I hadn’t seen in a while at an event. “I’ve been following your exciting life on line!” she exclaimed as we hugged hello.

“Thanks!” I responded, then laughed, “I only put the good stuff up there.”

Which, like most of us is true. My instagram, twitter, and facebook feeds are filled with photos and musings of good times, fun adventures, food that was divine, and flattering pictures of myself and my friends.

There are a lot of articles complaining about the lack of realness in the way we curate the information we share publicly. How our lives all look shinier and more put together then they actually are, and how we shouldn’t feel bad when we see our friends doing amazing things, because they’re only posting the good stuff. How going on Facebook makes us depressed, because as humans we can't help but compare, and if you're comparing your life to a hand picked feed of only good times, how can you not feel depressed that your life doesn't measure up?

And I want to say that I support us sharing the good. If you want to share the personal, bad, and/or everything else in between, that’s your decision and good on you for doing what you want. But, I’m sick of us vilifying the sharing of good stuff.

Personally, I think it’s a very pessimistic view to say the photo streams we have aren’t real because  they’re capturing happy, exciting, or accomplished events. They are obviously real life. We took them during our real lives. And yes, bad stuff, confusing stuff, sad, awful stuff has happened to all of us and was just as much real life, but I don’t think the good should be discounted based on the fact that it’s what we may want to remember or share in public setting.

Similarly, the feeds of my friends: creating, celebrating, having fun, falling in love, exploring new places and kicking ass at their jobs don’t fill me with despair. They’re god damn inspiring! I’m friends with these amazing people, building lives they want and working hard to make that happen. They are talented, beautiful people and I love having insight into the parts of their lives they are proud enough to share.

I’ve been posting more to instagram while in Paris than usual, because, well, everything is foreign and more catches my attention and curiosity. Being more aware of my surroundings in Pittsburgh is something I hope to take home with me in a couple of weeks. Anyway, one of my friends posted a comment under a picture I took from a morning run through the Jardin de Tuilleries which said, “So thrilled to see you enjoy the magic of Paris and to share it with us. Hooray for living dreams!”

Which, is a remark very true to her personality, but also struck me as such a pleasant and wonderful way of looking at the noise that is social media. How it’s thrilling to see someone you care about enjoy him or her self and share that enjoyment.

So, I defend the re-touched wedding pictures, the creatively posed engagement and pregnancy announcement photos, the look at me having this awesome adventure profile pic, and the photos where your kids look angelic and are getting along. I’ll even stand up for cat pictures, food porn, and selfies with your significant other.  Life is too short to not find the beauty in it, to share that, and to revel in how we all interpret and experience that beauty differently.

1st Blogiversarry

Today marks one year since I started So Type A, while sitting in my old room at my parents house waiting to come home to Pittsburgh.  Coincidentally, I'm at my parents house again tonight.  Normally I would celebrate this occasion with cake and champagne, because really, I'll celebrate just about ANY occasion with cake and champagne (birthdays, job offers, Mad Men, days that end in -day...) BUT I am running a marathon tomorrow, and have limited sugar and sworn off alcohol for the past week, so I'll have to wait till tomorrow to properly celebrate.  And then I will have 2 BIG THINGS to celebrate, which means twice as much cake and champagne probably.

I started blogging more than a year ago for work, and liked it so much, that I started thinking I could do a personal blog.  But it wasn't until I was talking to someone at a work event and he said, "Do you have a personal blog?  I would totally read your blog if you did."  that I actually took the thought seriously.

So now it's been a year.  A lot happens in a year!  And I'm really glad that blogging was part of it.  I love this blog.  I love writing for it,  I love that I'm responsible for it's existence.  It's taught me a lot.

First of all, the blogging community (which I'm much more involved with as a reader) is so great.  It's filled with some of the funniest, most creative and talented people I "know" and by know, I mean, I read their blog so I have some insight into how their inner-mind works.  I've met very few of them in real life.  Last year, I would have highly doubted that I'd be taking fashion advice from a 14 year old, or stealing recipes from a Mom living on a ranch, or laughing so hard my cheeks hurt at drawings done in MS paint.

Yet that's what's happened this year.  What's keeping me motivated to keep this blog alive?  For starters, blogging makes you learn a lot about yourself.  Suddenly you're trying to explain yourself in a way that makes sense, and that doesn't make you seem as crazy as you're pretty sure the inner workings of your mind is.

So what have I learned?  I've become closer to my family and friends.  Especially those I don't live close to.  I've learned to be honest and forthcoming.  And I've learned that exposing pieces of yourself don't  weaken you, it makes you compassionate, it makes you relatable.  I've learned that yes, we all feel this way.  We all get lonely, and feel insecure, and question our life choices.  I've learned that all states are temporary, and I've learned that when I write something and hit the post button, it's time to let it go.

I blog for a lot of reasons; to remember, to process, but mostly to connect.  Thank you, so much, for reading.

That One Time Social Media Totally Backfired and Completely Embarrassed Me... WHILE ON A DATE!

If you read this blog (HI GRANDMAMA), you know that it is not anonymous. I firmly believe that if you put something out on the internet, then it is public regardless of what your security settings are or how hard you try to hide your identity. There are algorithms, and codes, and tracking devices (probably), and while I don’t know how all that works, there are nerds and hackers that do.

All that being said, I’m very comfortable with people finding me online. Friend me on facebook, follow me on twitter, google me, addictomatic me, I don’t care, there’s nothing to hide. Family, friends, coworkers, we can all be connected on line. We’re all friends. There is no public and personal life on line, it’s all public. I thought this approach to Social Media was very smart of me. And maybe it still is. But last night, I finally got burned.

So, I’ve been seeing this guy. And until I come up with a better nickname for him on the blog, we will refer to him as “Guy I’ve Been Seeing” or GIBS for short (and this is what happens, GIBS, when you say sure, I can write about you just don’t use your real name).

In a long ago post, I mentioned how I rarely go out with guys on more than 3 dates, so when it happens, it’s exciting. You know what else is exciting? Dating someone for like a month, who is a fun and interesting person, who your friends approve of, who makes you laugh, and who also happens to be a good kisser.

You know what isn’t exciting? Or fun? When you’ve just had a great date, and he’s about to drive you home, and checks his iPhone, and asks if you know someone who has requested to follow him on twitter because you share the same last name as this person, and you realize in horror, that the request came from your mother!

Did. Not. See that one coming. Ever.

My Mom refuses to join facebook. She only has a twitter account because I set it up for her. She has never tweeted. She only follows 2 people. Me and @Coro_Pittsburgh. Yet somehow, this happened.

So of course, I was so embarrassed. How does one handle that situation??? What do you say? “Oh yea, guy I’ve been seeing for a month, that’s my Mom who requested to follow you on Twitter.”

GIBS to his credit, was a good sport about the whole thing, and laughed and said his Mom would have done the same thing if she was on twitter, (only she’s not and she didn’t). He did text me later that night, so apparently he hasn’t been scared off thinking me or my family is totally crazy. Or maybe he does and is ok with that anyways.

I called my Mom the next day, and she had no idea she requested anything of anyone. She apparently was trying to open some hyperlink I had tweeted, and started hitting buttons. She kept asking me “But how did I do that?” I don’t know Mom. I just know somehow you did.

Once she thought about the situation, she cracked up. “Oh honey,” she said in between laughs, “I’m sorry. Tell him,” more laughter “it was completely unintentional.” laughs.

Sigh. Parents and technology.