Love story

According to the internets, which, you know, is always right, Taylor Swift is dating Jake Gyllenhaal, which is probably the most depressing piece of celebrity news I've heard.  Ever.

Jake Gyllenhaal has been my go to celebrity crush, (gosh, even his last name comes up on my spellcheck.  Swoon.) since I first saw Donnie Darko.  Omg do you guys remember him in that black hoody?!!? I digress...

Anyway, not only is he gorgeous.  But he loves the Steelers, he has an awesome sister who would probably be an amazing sister-in-law, and did I mention how good looking he is?

And Taylor Swift is beautiful.  She's got that long neck thing going on, and her arms look great, which is probably why she plays the guitar in sleeveless dresses all the time.

But seriously Jake, Taylor Swift?  She's so... annoying.

Now, granted I am not a Taylor Swift fan, so I don't know all of her music, but from what I have heard, she sings about getting married.

It's not just songs about falling in love.  They all end with her getting proposed to, "I talked to your Dad, go pick out a white dress," or feature her in music videos going through the stages of dating, marriage, and kids, without ever aging of course.

Now, maybe this is her schtick.  And Elvis Costello once wisely said, "there are only 5 things in the world to write songs about..." but guess what wasn't one of the 5 things?  Yea, weddings.

So here's my question Taylor.  What about the loves that don't end in marriage?  Where are your songs about that boy you thought you were in love with who you lost touch with after you left for college, and when you ran into him a couple years later, you were so glad he was no longer a part of your life?  Or what about the boy you thought you were in love with, who once you finally accepted that he wasn't "the one" and was never going to love you back the way you wanted him to, you hurt so bad you were actually convinced that you were broken forever and would never be happy again?  Or what about the boy you fell so fast and hard for, only to realize that you were just a fling before he moved away?

And what about the boys who weren't right at all?  Who kissed you, and you felt nothing.  Who you said goodnight to and were really saying "goodbye forever, no seriously don't call me again" to?  What about all the bad dates, and the messy break-ups, and the awkward run-ins, and guys who hit on you only to later admit that they had girlfriends?

What about the relationships that were fleeting.  Not even long-term let alone forever, but that taught you so much?

And what about the men you meet that make you think, even after all that, maybe this could be something, or maybe it will be nothing, but I'm willing to try and find out.

What about all of those love stories?

Type A's Don't Settle

The latest show I've been netflixing is Big Love. As such I've been thinking about marriage more than usual. Then last night, I read an article by Lori Gottlieb about her new book "Marry Him" and her whole case for why women should stop expecting to fall in love and just settle for a guy who will marry them.

Ugh.

I know that this is nothing new, and that her mantra has been heard before, but I still resent hearing that at 40, as a woman, my career, education, and even falling in love won't matter to me as much as just being married. I also realize that I have a good 13 years ahead of me before I have to start worrying about the condition of my eggs, so having a child, and consequently meeting the father of my children, is about the thing furthest from my mind at this point.

Here's the thing. I want to fall in love, and get married, and have babies. Someday. But, the first part of that statement is to fall in love. I realize that the fireworks stop and dopamine levels drop off and relationships morph into a comfortable partnership that is married life. However, after 15 years, when I hate how he sings in the shower, and he can't stand my chewing pens, and we fight about money, and vacations, and how to raise our children, I'm going to need to be able to remember back to a time when we were crazy about each other.

Lori claims that at forty, you just want a teammate, someone to share the household responsibilities with etc. Well I say, if at 40 I'm still single, I'll hire a house manager. Or get a roommate. She also cites Will and Grace as being "the most romantic couple I can think of". Well I'm in a real life Will and Grace relationship, so I guess we already win.

I'm not going to settle. I'm going to hold out for someone who renders me unable to think straight after kissing, and someone who I'll want my friends and family to care for, someone who I'll be crazy enough about to say yea, I want my life to be your life, and vice versa.

And if that means I run the risk of still dating at 40? So be it.