Two

There is a scene in one of my favorite movies, The Philadelphia Story, where Katherine Hepburn's character, Tracy, is planning her wedding and her mother asks, "but what will we do with all these people if it rains?"

"Oh, it won't rain, Tracy won't stand for it." answers Tracy's younger sister.

Which is generally how I feel about the weather, especially when planning an event. On Wednesday, we threw a birthday party to celebrate Thread's 2nd anniversary of incorporation. It took place on a roof patio of a restaurant a few blocks from our office. It was supposed to thunderstorm. It didn't. I wouldn't stand for it.

Two years, and it's still thrilling and exciting and even though aspects of this crazy job are beginning to feel normal, there is nothing else on earth I would rather be spending my time doing.

Plus - I get to spend most of my time with these guys...

Y'all are the best co-workers, travel-companions, emergency-contacts, chosen-family a girl could ask for.

Happy Birthday, Thread!

A Personal Life

"So when are you at your other job? During the day?" asked a co-worker of mine at the restaurant.

"During the day, sometimes at night, sometimes on the weekends," I replied. Which is true. No one starts a business to cut back on the hours they work each week.  Luckily, at Thread we have incredible flexibility as to when we work, so I feel like it all balances out.

"Do you have a personal life?" he asked.

You mean, do I have time to date anyone? I thought in my head, but didn't say out loud, instead offering an off-handed comment about personal lives being over-rated.

And maybe that's not what he was implying by "personal life," maybe he was just curious if I did anything other than work, but either way, this idea around a "personal life" and it being something removed and separated from what I do on a daily basis irks me.

I work a lot because I love it. And this job, this work, has allowed me expand and change my perspective of the world. It's made me aware of issues and problems I didn't know existed. It's expanded my social circles and introduced me to interesting new people. It's made me complete tasks, and solve problems, and develop skills I didn't think I was capable of having or doing.  It's made me afraid and vulnerable and has drawn me closer to people than I thought was possible. It's allowed me to make connections around the world, to seek out new knowledge, and to ask for help almost constantly. It's made me grow, as a professional for sure, but also as a person. I am a better person for having taken this job. If that's not personal than what is?

I think that starting a venture has to be one of the most personal things you can do in life.

So while entrepreneurs might be the only people in the world who willingly quit a 40 hour week to take on an 80+ hour work week, I don't think it's at all at the expense of having a "personal life."

Sometimes, we even find time to date.

Conversations with Coworkers

While working on a proposal...

Me: "I'm making some of this up."

Coworker: "That's ok. That's what we do."

At the restaurant, as the dinner rush ended and things slowed down...

Coworker: "When we die, we are dead."
Me: ::thinking this was the start of an existential conversation, pause for a second before answering:: "well, yes."
Coworker: ::shrugs:: and goes to refill water, as I realize the "dead" she was referring to was about the restaurant, and not our impending mortality.

While at a networking event...

Coworker: ::after being asked where his favorite place in the world is to run answers:: "Haiti." ::then turns to me and whispers:: "I've actually haven't gone for a run in Haiti yet."

Me: "That's ok, I have."

Coworker: "I know, I just borrowed your life experience."

Me: "It's cool, we share most everything else."

While enjoying shift-beers after a dinner shift. Discussing break ups with a coworker who more recently than me returned to single status...

Coworker: "So, are you like looking to date now?"
Me: ::sigh:: "I mean, I'm not miserable anymore, but the thought of a first date just seems, well, completely exhausting. I might stay in my post-break up cocoon a little longer."
Coworker: ::raises glass:: "Well, here's to not being miserable!"
Me: ::laughs:: "Absolutely. Cheers to not crying on the bathroom floor!"
(It's all about celebrating small victories.)


While at happy hour...

Me: "I had to fill out something that asked for a local emergency contact person, and I listed you, just so you know. I know you'd be great in an emergency, and take care of it, and get in touch with all the right people."
Coworker: "Yea I would! I'd answer my phone, and be there. You were right to list me."
Me: "Now it's official, we've crossed that line into family."


Having good jobs is great, having good people to work with is even better. Pretty grateful for the people I get to spend most of my time around.

Appreciating This Moment

It's really easy to live in the future. To push through your present because it's just a means to an end. Just one step on your way to accomplishing a goal, or to getting the life you want. And while I will never say that it's bad to have goals or ambitions, or to want to do epic shit, it is important to appreciate your present while you're in the midst of making those things happen.

Especially when working for a start-up, you are future-focused all of the time.  Constantly strategizing, and pivoting, and turning your little company into the big dream that seduced you all to sign up for this in the first place.

These last couple months have been trying, and tiring, and part of what motivates and pushes me through is the belief that we are working toward a future that will be awesome.  But, the present is pretty awesome already. And I want to take a moment to remember that.

I spent this past weekend visiting some dear friends in Washington, D.C. I went down on Thursday, and on Friday, I had the opportunity to work out of a co-working space in D.C. because a friend of mine's company works out of the space.  It was similar to The Beauty Shoppe in Pittsburgh (where Thread works) in that there was a lot of natural light and Ikea furniture, but there were also a lot more people.  I was sharing a desk, sitting across from my friend Anne, and trying to be respectful of the room full of people furiously typing away on their Macbooks by talking quietly, etc.

At one point in the afternoon, all 5 of us at Thread were on line, and entered in a group chat discussing that month's newsletter and other last minute Friday afternoon orders of business. Even though we were all scattered and communicating electronically, we know each other well enough, that we can totally pick up on people's sarcasm, personality, and inflection even in typed communications.  So, the thing is,  I work with very smart and very funny people. I have said several times, that one of my favorite things about working for Thread is that it feels at times like we're on an Aaron Sorkin show, what with quick rapid fire dialogue, lots of references, and plenty of wit.

Anyway, the point is that even though we're discussing work stuff, my teammates are being hilarious. To the point where I start giggling out loud. And like you do in most situations where you're not supposed to be laughing or making too much noise (libraries, church, classical music concerts) and something strikes you as funny, you try really hard not to laugh, which inevitably makes you laugh even harder.  I tried to keep it together, but kept snorting into my keyboard, when finally my friend Anne couldn't feign polite ignorance anymore and stared at me eyebrows raised.

"I'm sorry," I said. "My teammates are just hysterical."

"You are having wayyy too much fun for a Friday afternoon," she answered.

And I was. I was having a ton of fun. And I just want to be cognizant and appreciative of that. Because life is stressful. And I could keep racing through right now, so that I can get to a place where I'm not broke, and less stressed, and more secure, and more grown up. While I hope that all of those things happen, I also want to be grateful for the fact that I'm in a place in life, where I can travel to other cities to spend time with people I care about, while working for a job that challenges and entertains me.

I want to appreciate that while I might be working toward a better future, a present filled with laughter at work on a Friday afternoon is not such a bad place to be.

Thread's First Birthday. Or, What Start-up Life is Like. And How to Survive it.

There's a certain glamour that surrounds the start-up world.  Founding a company seems to be an increasingly popular goal, especially amongst my generation. Perhaps because our sense of entitlement pushes us to be our own boss, or perhaps because there aren't many other job options, so we might as well start a business while enjoying unemployment.  There's a lot said about start-ups, and a lot that is left unsaid.  As Thread celebrates its first anniversary of incorporation, here are some things that have I have learned along the way.

It's Terrific.

The first thing I can say about making the jump from a stable job, into working for a company you're helping to start, is that it is the best.  It really is.  A lot of the cliche stuff actually happens; late night white board sessions with pizza, beers in the conference room, coming in when you want, wearing what you want, and sharing an office space with awesome people.  That being said...

Get Ready to Feel the Entire Spectrum of Human Emotion on a Daily Basis.

I have spent the majority of the past couple months vacillating between extreme excitement, and abject terror.  Your highs are massive, your lows are crushing, and you still have to deal with everything in between.  At my former job, putting out fires meant dealing with easily fixed problems like; filling in for speakers who ran late, meeting recruitment goals, and making sure all of my sponsors received all the sponsorship benefits I told them they'd receive.  Things that yea, could be stressful, but wouldn't cause the organization to have to close its doors or anything.

Not so in a start-up.  In a start-up, putting out fires, often actually means coming up with ways to keep the lights on for another month.  You usually only have enough of a budget to get one shot to complete a project, so you can't mess up. Add on the pressure of a social venture, where you know first hand the positive impact you can have on lives, and what's at stake if you fail, and you are dealing with real true stress.

The best advice I can give is to take care of yourself.  It's really tempting to stress-eat junk, live off of take out, give up exercise to drink wine, and forgo sleep for a few more hours of work,  but that kind of unbalance will make you a fat nervous wreck.

Find your sweat-thing - for me its running, and make it a non-negotiable part of your schedule. Push yourself physically, to give yourself a break mentally, and to ensure that you are regularly flooding your body with enough dopamine and serotonin to combat the cortisol that is building up in your system.  Have a network who you can call and say, "I'm freaking out! And I need you to talk me off the ledge!" Drink water.  Go to sleep.  Eat some real foods, that you cook yourself.  This often saves you money too, which is good, because unless you are independently wealthy...

Get Ready to Live Like a Student Again

Boot strapping means learning to live on a serious budget, or with no income at all while you ramp up revenue and investments. You will have to stop buying clothes, cut back on going/eating out, pause your philanthropic giving, and take a break from contributing to a retirement fund.  You may also have to move, drain your savings, borrow money from your parents, and pick up part time work.

All of that sounds like a lot, and it is.  However its a sacrifice that seems totally worth it when you really believe in your colleagues and the idea you're all working towards.

Get Ready to Bond

One of my fellow Threadheads has a mentor who, when first learning of this project warned her that, "Starting a business is like entering into a group marriage."  Disclaimer: I'm not married.  But, I don't think that statement is too far off.  We are in contact every day.  Our group dynamic and relationship is unlike anything else I have ever been a part of.  We are coworkers, but we have become family.  We have hard conversations about money, and values, and what we want our future to look like. We have been through accidents, births, cancer, break ups, and the fear of not knowing how we're going to pay next month's rent together.  We celebrate, we argue, we tease, we cry, and we laugh a lot.  We have very few secrets.

I imagine that entrepreneurship can be very isolating and lonely at times for those who do it alone, and I cannot fathom having this experience without the support of my team.

It's not always good.  Neither is marriage from what I hear.  And I would be lying if I didn't say that there haven't been scary moments where I'm sitting in a meeting and have thought "What am I doing here?" And for a brief second I think about walking out and running away and starting over.  But you don't, and within hours you're reminded of why you love and trust these people and what you're all doing here in the first place.

The other Threadheads are the kind of people I would consider myself lucky to even know.  To have the honor of working with them to create a company, and to be inspired by them on a daily basis is just awesome.

Get Ready to Work All the Time

Yes, you take time off, and you have fun.  You need to - or else you will become boring, and lose your mind, and then you're no good to anyone, least of all your teammates who are depending on you.  What I mean is that work is no longer this thing you need to escape from.  It's something you want to do, and so you do it constantly.

I have happily spent vacation time reading through case studies, and checking my email.  I problem solve and brainstorm while working out.  I talk about trash at parties, and sometimes state composting statistics on dates. I get weirdly excited about subject matter I never thought I would have an interest in.  I can't wait to get asked the question "So, what do you do?"

When you love your work, when you find it fascinating, it infiltrates itself into all the aspects of your life.

One Year Down

I can't believe I'm part of a company that is a year old! A year is a milestone, and this year has flown. We are still so young, and have so much to do, and I can't wait to celebrate this anniversary for years to come.

I can't say thank you enough to everyone who has and continues to support us, invest in us, teach us, mentor us, advise us, challenge us, and believe in us enough to do so.

Mesi Anpil.

All I Want is a Room Somewhere

I moved into my new room this weekend.  And while it will eventually be great, right now it looks like this...

...a storage space with a mattress on the floor.

Anyway, Thread has a press photo shoot tomorrow, and so today my boss told me to dress "nice" and then "cool" and was confused when I told him those were 2 very different things, and which one should it be?

I don't know what to wear, and all of my clothes are in garbage bags.  

A Change Will Do You Good

In the past 3 weeks, nearly every aspect of my life has changed, or will shortly.

To recap:

- I started working full time for Thread, LLC, a social venture I have been with since it was an idea.  In true start up fashion, this means I have been working harder than I ever have, but am essentially unemployed.  Funding is coming, but it takes time, and we want to be sure all the legalities are correct. This means that I have stepped back into a socio-economic status I have not been in since I was a student.

- Being broke, means a whole new lifestyle outside of work.  Luckily, I live in a city where 10 bucks means a night out, and I have adventurous friends who are happy to re-visit places we haven't frequented since being students.  The artist, her boyfriend, and I went out last week and had 3 beers and 30 pierogies for $7.50. God bless Polish Hill.  It also means I've spent a lot more time running, and cooking for myself. (I may start working on a book, which I will entitle "The Start-up Diet".)  Being poor is actually making me healthier.

- My and Chris's landlord raised our rent by 10% this year, despite having done nothing to improve the apartment.  This came after a similar hike last year.  We love the space, but cannot justify the price increase, especially since the place is so expensive to heat and cool. Also, our landlord is largely absent, hard to get a hold of, and takes forever to fix anything. Anyway, this coupled with the fact that Precisely is ready to take on the world of adulthood by living alone, means that I needed to find a new place to live.  It also made me realize, that I am not ready to live alone.  So, at the end of next month, I will be moving to Highland Park.  I'll be renting a room in a house owned by a couple, who have a puppy.  There is also another tenant, who is a pastry chef.  Just to reiterate, I am going to be living with a puppy I don't actually have to take care of and a pastry chef! It's just about the best temporary fix I can think of.

- I also celebrated my 25th birthday! woo! Which I guess means that I can rent cars more cheaply now, so who wants to go on a road trip?

Here's the thing though.  April has brought a lot of unexpected tumultuous change. And while it has certainly come with a TON of uncertainty and A LOT of feelings, I have also never felt more at peace; with myself, with what I am doing, and with the knowledge that things will sort themselves out.